Why is it that people, in general, seem to have this all-consuming need to be right? And why are they, in that incessant need, compelled to argue, fuss, fight, yell, scream, and bite in order to establish themselves as that one person who has it all together? Why does "being right" seem to always overshadow the whole concept of friendship, caring, and love?
I honestly don't get it. I have ideas and beliefs. I have things that I feel so strongly about that I am willing to fight for them. And there are also a list of things I have ideas about but no strong conviction one way or another. But all of these ideas and thoughts, all of these beliefs, strong or otherwise, are no match for the love I have for my family and friends. In most cases, if one of my beliefs disagrees with that of someone I love, I will keep silent on that topic. If they bring up the topic, I am willing to state what I think and listen to what they have to say. I will not force my ideas down their throat, and neither will I fight back if or when they attempt to force their beliefs and opinions on me.
People disagree.
I like Jif peanut butter and grape jam on white-wheat bread. I consider this to be the most perfect recipe for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But I have heard vicious rumors about people who eat Peter Pan brand peanut butter or grape jelly. Now, are we going to argue about this? Of course not. Am I going to feel a deep sense of insult and rejection upon entering that friends' house and being offered a PB&J sandwich that doesn't line up with my perfect expectations? Don't be ridiculous!
However, I feel it happens all too often. Not about PB&Js, obviously; but about other ideas and situations that really have no reason to be fought over.
You live your life as you see fit. I'll live mine. If you see me do something you feel is seriously immoral or wrong, then, by all means, voice your concerns. However, if, after listening to your concerns, I continue on to make my decision, don't be mad at me for disregarding your advice. In return, I will not be angry with you for "putting your nose into my business". On the same token, if I see you doing something I feel is immoral or wrong, I will voice my concerns. And I promise not to take it personally if you disregard my advice or opinions.
If you are a believer, then you know that in all honesty, we are answerable only to God for what we say and do. If you feel God telling you to tell me something and I disregard your advice, you have nothing to be concerned about--you've done what you felt was right and good, and now it's up to me to answer to God for what I decide to do with that advice.
I'm not going to completely discredit everything someone says simply on the basis that one thing they said doesn't line up with my beliefs.
I'm not going to throw away an entire book just because of one missing punctuation mark.
However, I honestly feel that people do just that. Basically, "If you say one thing that disagrees with my thoughts, beliefs, or lifestyle, then obviously you hate me and everyone else who is like me!"
Back to the peanut butter...
I love Jif. I don't like Peter Pan.
You love Peter Pan. You don't like Jif.
We can still be friends.
Can't we just learn to disagree respectfully? And for heavens' sakes, if you already know we disagree on a subject, can't you leave that subject well enough alone when we're talking? I promise, I'll offer you the same courtesy. (By the way, Facebook doesn't count--post what you think and feel on your own page and I'll scroll right past if I disagree, but please be mature enough to state your opinion without disrespecting opposing ideas. That's just being decent. Likewise, I'll respectfully post my opinions and expect you to scroll on down when you don't agree.)
I like it when people disagree. No one is always 100% right, and sometimes brilliance is born out of disagreement. But can't we just play nice?
Rant over.
I honestly don't get it. I have ideas and beliefs. I have things that I feel so strongly about that I am willing to fight for them. And there are also a list of things I have ideas about but no strong conviction one way or another. But all of these ideas and thoughts, all of these beliefs, strong or otherwise, are no match for the love I have for my family and friends. In most cases, if one of my beliefs disagrees with that of someone I love, I will keep silent on that topic. If they bring up the topic, I am willing to state what I think and listen to what they have to say. I will not force my ideas down their throat, and neither will I fight back if or when they attempt to force their beliefs and opinions on me.
People disagree.
I like Jif peanut butter and grape jam on white-wheat bread. I consider this to be the most perfect recipe for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But I have heard vicious rumors about people who eat Peter Pan brand peanut butter or grape jelly. Now, are we going to argue about this? Of course not. Am I going to feel a deep sense of insult and rejection upon entering that friends' house and being offered a PB&J sandwich that doesn't line up with my perfect expectations? Don't be ridiculous!
However, I feel it happens all too often. Not about PB&Js, obviously; but about other ideas and situations that really have no reason to be fought over.
You live your life as you see fit. I'll live mine. If you see me do something you feel is seriously immoral or wrong, then, by all means, voice your concerns. However, if, after listening to your concerns, I continue on to make my decision, don't be mad at me for disregarding your advice. In return, I will not be angry with you for "putting your nose into my business". On the same token, if I see you doing something I feel is immoral or wrong, I will voice my concerns. And I promise not to take it personally if you disregard my advice or opinions.
If you are a believer, then you know that in all honesty, we are answerable only to God for what we say and do. If you feel God telling you to tell me something and I disregard your advice, you have nothing to be concerned about--you've done what you felt was right and good, and now it's up to me to answer to God for what I decide to do with that advice.
I'm not going to completely discredit everything someone says simply on the basis that one thing they said doesn't line up with my beliefs.
I'm not going to throw away an entire book just because of one missing punctuation mark.
However, I honestly feel that people do just that. Basically, "If you say one thing that disagrees with my thoughts, beliefs, or lifestyle, then obviously you hate me and everyone else who is like me!"
Back to the peanut butter...
I love Jif. I don't like Peter Pan.
You love Peter Pan. You don't like Jif.
We can still be friends.
Can't we just learn to disagree respectfully? And for heavens' sakes, if you already know we disagree on a subject, can't you leave that subject well enough alone when we're talking? I promise, I'll offer you the same courtesy. (By the way, Facebook doesn't count--post what you think and feel on your own page and I'll scroll right past if I disagree, but please be mature enough to state your opinion without disrespecting opposing ideas. That's just being decent. Likewise, I'll respectfully post my opinions and expect you to scroll on down when you don't agree.)
I like it when people disagree. No one is always 100% right, and sometimes brilliance is born out of disagreement. But can't we just play nice?
Rant over.
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